The 7 Most Egregious Lyrics in Nicki Minaj’s Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded

I’m starting to feel like a dungeon dragon

Raah, raah, like a dungeon dragon

I’m starting to feel like a dungeon dragon

– Excerpted from Nicki Minaj’s “Roman’s Revenge”

I was perusing Pandora when I first heard that Nicki Minaj instant classic.  Opting to postpone a Brave New World essay due the next day, I stared at my laptop screen in spellbound contemplation, hoping to glean something, anything, from the words of a “bad b****”.  A bad b**** with Barbie tendencies.  After a few seconds of staring, I started to feel like the dungeon dragon.  “Raah, raah,” I repeated softly in my bedroom—this song could change the world.

“I just came from listening to her album. She’s grown so much as an artist.  She’s so talented that this ish is scary…Hands down, she bad.”

-Cash Money Records kingpin Bryan “Birdman” “Baby” Williams in January.

And what else is there to really say about Nicki’s ballyhooed sophomore effort, Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded, released yesterday?  “She’s so talented…she bad” generally sums up every thought anyone has ever had about her.  The album “puts focus on the return of Roman Zolanski, one of Minaj’s alter egos”, whose name is eerily reminiscent of Manson-murder crony and expatriate movie director Roman Polanski.  Well, then.  Consider me interested!

You are likely bubbling with anticipation to finally listen to Roman Reloaded.  However, some pressing questions remain:

  • Is 2 Chainz involved?
  • On the title track, what does Lil Wayne recommend to scorned ex-girlfriends?
  • Is 2 Chainz involved?

If you answered “yes”, “b**** try yoga”, and “YES!” you are correct.  If you answered “is that what Tity Boi goes by now?”, “Prozac”, and “no”, I’m afraid to say you are the weakest link.  Goodbye!

Primed to discuss the album intellectually, I present to you—with the utmost reverance for Nicki/Roman’s work—the seven most egregious lyrics in Roman Reloaded.

7. From “Roman Reloaded”:

                I hear the slick s***, b**** you washed

                All you hoes cryin’: Christopher Bosh

Too soon—the Finals were less than a year ago! Nicki’s explicit reference to Bosh’s post-Game Six sob session is executed in poor taste.  If she had gone with “I hear the slick s***, bitch you snoring/All you hoes cryin’: Adam Morrison” I’d commend her ingenuity.  Plus, in the scene that Nicki is describing, I doubt that the hoes crying had anything to do with Chris Bosh, unless he showed up at Club Liv without a stack of hundreds.

6. From “HOV Lane”:

                I traveled more than you walkin’ with a basketball

                I’m out in Spain runnin’ games to the Matador

OK, now you’re making fun of LeBron?  What’s your deal with the Heat?  Not cool.

5. From “Stupid Hoe”:

                Yes, my name is Roman, last name is Zolanski

                But no relation to Roman Polanski

I guess my previous suspicions proved to be unfounded.  Glad we cleared that up!

4. From “Whip It”:

                Fo, you make me go

                Na na na na na me go

???

3. From “Beautiful Sinner”:

                South Africa is where I come from

                Get me my banjo, get me my drum

Nicki, you’re Trinidadian, not South African.  In her defense, a Google search for “is the banjo indigenous to South Africa” turns up 4,840,000 results.

2. From “Starships”:

                And I ain’t paying my rent this month

                I owe that

This is more preposterous than Nicki maintaining South African heritage.  One year ago, it was reported that she had $14 million in the bank—I think she’ll be paying her rent this month.

1. From “Whip It”:

                Is that my cue? I’m looking for some brain

                To boost my IQ

                I’m like 5’2, my SAT scores were high too

Logical issues run rampant here.  First, if Nicki needs “some brain” to up her IQ, one would assume that her SAT scores couldn’t be that impressive.  When Nicki states her diminutive height, she asserts that these scores “were high too”, as if 5’2” is tall.  I’m confused.  But after listening to Roman Reloaded, I think that’s how I’m supposed to feel.

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